Cheese Touch and The Heat Wave of The Century!

July 18th - July 24th

"Cheese Touch"
So here in Ohio...we expect July to be HOT and HUMID.  And this last week I believe we exceeded HOT and HUMID and ventured into unknown territory.  At one point, I started to believe that a big hand came down and literally picked up the equator and moved it into the mid-west of our beautiful and HOT country!  Do I sound whiny?  ....
Well, that is because I was. 
Monday we reached into the jar and began pulling out ideas for the day....Board games and go for a walk.  The kids vetoed going for a walk..."It's toooooooo hot, mom" (in the whiniest voices imaginable).  I could not argue...it was!  I suggested that we could drive to the metro-parks where there were lots of trees and walking trails, so that we could at least be shaded.  You should have seen the looks I got.  So, we kept board games and drew another idea...."Bake a Cake".  Me, "FUN!!!" The kids, "No Thanks".  Really??  I enticed them with all sorts of ideas and cool things we could do to make a really awesome cake.  Still, they passed. 
So we decided to head to Target for some new games.  We went and I had to say I was excited!  It had been a while since we bought new games and I had zero attachment to any kind of scarcity with money.  We left with a deck of cards, Diary of a Wimpy Kid Cheese Touch, and Hedbanz (game, not hair accessories).

When we got home, they decided to play Cheese Touch.  I have no idea what a "Cheese Touch is.  And we began playing the game.  Apparently having the "cheese" in the game is a bad thing....And the object was to have anyone but yourself in possession of the "cheese" otherwise you are the "Cheese Touch"  !  This game is actually funny!  We had to guess what others may answer, act things out, etc.
As we played on, and after three turns Christopher had not been able to move any additional spaces and he was the "Cheese Touch" the entire time.  Tempers were beginning to brew.....



(this is our angry face)



After the fourth turn I became the "Cheese Touch" and he was happy again and since I don't know what cheese touch means...I am happy to move on!  Now we come to a crossroads.  It becomes my turn again, and because the rules of the game dictate that I "have to" pass the "Cheese" to my left (Christopher).  I thought about cheating, to protect my little guy from disappointment  and anger.  Then I thought about life (very quickly, of course) and I chose to continue to play the game.  I passed the cheese back to Christopher and he refused to take it.  He kept throwing it back at me and got upset because "it wasn't fair".  And then, he quit.  He said, "I am done. I hate this game, and I don't want to play any more!" 

As his mom, I felt bad and I also know that these are the little life lessons we get to experience to teach us and help us grow.  We talked about quitting and how that is not the best answer.  He loves Judo, and is an outstanding Judo player.  I asked him about when he is sparring and his opponent may be winning, does he quit and give up or does he fight back even harder to reverse his opponents hold?  He said, "I work harder and I don't give up.  But Mom, I don't like losing".  I reminded him that we were only 1/2 way through the game, and that he could end up winning.  And, just because he saw the cheese as a bad thing, did not mean it had to ruin his game.  Hmmmmm.....
He said, "Mom, I really just want to go outside and play with my friends now.  Can we play the game another day?"  Lauren chimed in and wanted to go outside too...despite the nauseating heat. 
As much as I cannot stand to be out there, I chose to willingly be uncomfortable (literally) and do what they wanted.  I did not even think about it really.  We cleaned up the game, we put our shoes on and headed out to mother nature's oven.  They had fun.  Later on Chris hugged me and said he really loves "Cheese Touch" and was sorry for quitting.

What did I learn?  That even as a grown-up, I don't like to "lose" either.  And, that my perception of The Game (life) is just that...it is a perception.  The Game can change any time, simply by how I choose to look at it.  I can choose to think that just because The Game is not looking quite like I thought it should, that I am losing or failing OR I can choose to find out what is fun and how to turn The Game in my favor to get what it is I say I want.

Cheese Touch!!

Cheating, Swimming, Movies and More Swimming

So this heat wave continues.  In fact, it pretty much feels like a complete understatement calling it a heat wave!  Remember, the equator is now running through the mid-west!
I started feeling anxious.  Each day we drew ideas from the jar (The Zoo, camping in the back yard, golfing, hiking in the park), and we ended up putting them back, due to the dangerous heat advisories we had.  The kids were totally "chillaxed" with that. 
I started noticing that I was treating this weeks goal (10 or more shared activities) like a task.  Each activity became a task that I "needed" to check of the list in order to be complete.  I knew this was not serving me or my kids.  How fun can it be to force something like this?  I also felt out-of-control with this whole weather thing, and that was pissing me off.  I wanted to be outside with the kids and DOing our activities.  Well, last I checked, I still do not have any ability to magically change the weather, and coming to accept that would definitely serve me!
So, I surrendered. I waved my little white flag to Mother Nature.  And I accepted that our time together can be whatever we make it.  If it means reading books, watching movies and being safe, that is ok!  It is now what I am DOing with them, it is how I am BEing when we are together. 
We played another board game...Hedbanz. Sidenote: whoever comes up with these games....really!
The object of this game is to strap a plastic blue band around your head and then place a card that has a picture on it, into this little slit on the front of your head band.  You cannot see your own picture, because you have to ask the other players questions in order to guess what you are. <sigh>
After the  1st round, Lauren says she is just going to place the headbanz thing in front of her because it is hurting her head.  She promises she cannot see picture.  Well....after 1 guess, she knows what she. So either my child is a complete clairvoyant, genius....or she can see her picture.  Chris and I continue on with the round, asking questions and attempting to guess what we are.  It was funny to come up with questions, and annoying at the same time! (just sayin') 
Eventually, we finished and it was time for a new round.  Lauren insisted on placing the card in front of her, picture facing me and Chris.  Chris and I still wear our hedbanz and we start the game.  Now, Lauren the Magician asks very specific questions about her card...I mean very specific, and guesses again after 3 turns.  So, I move over to where she is sitting and ..... you can totally see through the card and see the picture!  I am crushed!
She does not have the gift ...she is cheating!
Anyone want to guess how this goes down?  9 1/2 yr. old who thinks she is 17 gets called out on cheating.  Yep, stomping feet, high-pitched-make-your-ears-bleed screaming, and doors slamming. 
Palms together, Palms apart, Palms together, Palms apart (K&A grads...you know!)
I give her a few minutes to chill.  Chris and I keep playing!  I am determined to guess "what I am".  (Not including what Lauren was thinking I am in that moment!)
This game is ridiculous and hilarious all at the same time.  I was a Unicorn and Chris was a sheep.  I am not sure how we figured it out, but we did. 
I went to talk to Lauren, and Chris cleaned up the game.
What I learned about my conversation with Lauren:
She is incredibly intelligent (This I already knew)....and she thinks she knows how to use that intelligence to pull one over on people.  And, I was amazed at how much she was arguing to be right.  I did not care that she cheated and I did.  I was more concerned about her unwillingness to be responsible.  And I was concerned that this might be a pattern for her.  We talked it out and I shared that I loved her no matter what, and that even though it was "just a game" to her, as her mom, it is part of my duty to teach her about life....cheating is never a good thing.  It not only takes away the experience of truly accomplishing something on her own, hard work, and integrity, it can put others in a place of not trusting her and her true abilities. 
We hugged it out.
She apologized to her brother for cheating.
<sigh>

The rest of our activities involved water and comfort.  We went swimming one after-noon and marinated in the pool for over 3 hours.  We swam and the kids had a blast doing tricks off the diving board.  It was nice to just BE with them.  No guilt about what I felt I should be doing.  I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
We cuddled up on the couch one night and watched the 1st Harry Potter movie.  It was cute to see the actors so young!  Christopher was a bit unsure about the movie at times, feeling it was "scary".  He cuddled up more, and was okay at bedtime.
We also went to the beach!  My parents belong to a beautiful, private beach on Lake Erie.  We went for dinner and the kids and I spent quite a bit of time searching the shore line for sand glass.  It is amazing that somewhere, somehow, glass bottles ended up in this water and eventually broke up into pieces.  Because of the sand and water, it buffs the pieces into really cool shapes and sizes.  We found amber, white and aqua colored glass.  Chris loves the aqua, because it is really hard to find.  It was nice to hang out.  I even played in the sand with Lauren and her baby cousin.  I cannot remember the last time I plopped my butt in the sand and just played!!  It was so relaxing and FUN! 

The thing I discovered in me was that even though we may not have crossed off the "10 or more" activities, we still spent time with each other.  That time is always going to look different and it may even involve melt downs and temper tantrums.  As their mom, I can choose how I show up in those moments.  I can choose to be grounded and centered, and BE with them in their stuff....talk with them, ask them questions and as a family discover what is possible.

Life is good.