Sunday, July 31st
I had not heard of Oobleck, ever, until this year. Apparently Chris' class made this gooey s concoction this past year, and for some reason, every time Chris asked me if we could make Oobleck (the recipe was sent home...), I came up with some excuse not to.
Well, Saturday morning, Chris wanted to make Oobleck. I said, OK!!
Corn starch, water and food coloring....that is it...simple!
It is the craziest stuff I ever touched! It can be like a slimy bouncy ball, that liquefies once it is held in the hand. It felt weird and it was really cool! I did not even care that both of us had semi-stained hands for part of the day! It was a quick, simple thing that absolutely lit up his morning! What was I so dang hung up on before?? I am sure it was me not wanting to make a mess, not feeling like I had time, or that my time was better spent DOing something more productive.....
BEing carefree, spontaneous and fun is a lot easier and feels a ton better!
Saturday night, I went to a wedding reception and the kids had a sitter. Lauren convinced me to let her friend sleep over....which I was really ok with. So, Sunday morning after everyone was awake, I realized I did not have much in the house for a great "morning-after-sleep-over" breakfast. So we got creative! I found a box of Pumpkin bread mix in the pantry. The girls helped to whip in the few necessary ingredients and we made muffins! Again, simple, and spontaneous. It could have been easier to just pour a few bowls of cereal, and this made them smile. I am loving how easier is not always better AND that what could have been perceived as a long, drawn-out, "unproductive" process, was instead fun, EASY and FUN! The smiles on the faces said it all.
Lauren's friend is really excited about "The Jar" and has even told her mom to make one for their family! So, asked if she could pull the activity out of the jar for us. Sure!
She pulled out The Zoo!
"Yeah" I screamed in my head! (in a very sarcastic tone, by the way) Lauren's friends eyes lit up. And, so did Lauren's and Chris'. I remembered the smiles from the muffin...and my inner sarcastic voice changed. Let's do this!!! And "K", you are coming too!
So, off we went....Me, Lauren, Chris and "K".
It was hot, and the zoo was really crowded...yet I had a blast! Lauren and "K" were outstanding! Chris....well, I am going with, "he was up late last night". :)
Even his sour mood and crabby face did not ruin the day! I am so glad we went! BEing with them for the entire afternoon and experiencing the zoo through them was such a blessing.
What else can I say? It was a great weekend and we had a blast!
(pictures to be posted soon!)
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I "Smurf" Date Night!
Friday, July 29th
Lauren had a sleep over tonight a friends house. Chris and I were on our own! I asked him if he wanted to go on a date with his mommy.....to which I got a very funny look. We decided to go to a movie, and the orginal one we wanted to see, "Captain America" had already started. So we chose "Smurfs". How nostalgic!! I remember every Saturday, having my cereal and then plopping down to watch the Saturday morning cartoons....including a full hour of The Smurfs!
We got there just in time to get our yuuummmmmmy buttered popcorn and our seats. It was a very cute movie and of course the word "smurf" is used a lot in many different ways!
I loved that the arms of the movie chairs lift up and that my 7 yr. old still loves to cuddle!
When we got home, I tucked him into bed and told him, "I 'Smurf' you very much!!" He giggled and said, "I 'Smurf' you too mommy".
Need I say anything more than I "Smurf" Date night?!
Lauren had a sleep over tonight a friends house. Chris and I were on our own! I asked him if he wanted to go on a date with his mommy.....to which I got a very funny look. We decided to go to a movie, and the orginal one we wanted to see, "Captain America" had already started. So we chose "Smurfs". How nostalgic!! I remember every Saturday, having my cereal and then plopping down to watch the Saturday morning cartoons....including a full hour of The Smurfs!
We got there just in time to get our yuuummmmmmy buttered popcorn and our seats. It was a very cute movie and of course the word "smurf" is used a lot in many different ways!
I loved that the arms of the movie chairs lift up and that my 7 yr. old still loves to cuddle!
When we got home, I tucked him into bed and told him, "I 'Smurf' you very much!!" He giggled and said, "I 'Smurf' you too mommy".
Need I say anything more than I "Smurf" Date night?!
Friday, July 29, 2011
You Say Play-Do, We Say Play-DOUGH
Thursday, July 28th
This week has been interesting. I noticed that life had kind of taken over. We had Judo classed, soccer meetings, etc. and I also noticed that I was breathing effortlessly through it. I was not panicking, thinking, "We HAVE TO get these activities done." The kids, however, were wondering when when do we get to pull ideas from the jar?
Thursday morning, we pulled out 2 ideas: Make Play-Dough and Create a Time Capsule. Anyone want to guess who said what . . . "I choose out" and "Cool!"... :)
I decided that I was going to go with it. I suggested to Lauren that instead of looking at the activity as something she "has" to do, she can look at it as trying something new and spending time with her mom and brother. I told her that my experience was that she was choosing out of spending time with us and that I felt sad about that. She stewed on that for a little bit as I drove them to camp.
When I picked them up later, they had golf clinic. Normally they golf at separate times, resulting in us being there for 1 1/2 hrs. I made a decision that they would golf together today, so that we had time to go to the grocery store to get what we needed for Play-Dough. Lauren still was not sold on this activity, and came around when she saw the food coloring on the list. At the store, she saw on the back of the box, that she could make all sorts of different colors...."I'm in!!"
I want to affirm Lauren for a second. We tease her sometimes about how she remembers the details of every conversation and every little thing she sees and hears (even when she is not supposed to be listening!). When we got home, I started pulling out the pots to make the play-dough. I had a recipe I found online and it required stove-top cooking. I was in a bit of resistance....it looked so darn messy! Lauren said, "Mom, what are you doing?" Me, "We have to make the dough on the stove". Lauren, "No we dont'. You can use the Vita-Mix....Look (she pulls out the Vita-mix book), it says right here!" She is giggling and said, "I remember everything....remember?" <sigh> God lover her!
They had fun pouring and measuring. I had fun surrendering to "letting" them pour and measure! The inner controller in me normally would have done it all myself, and made them watch....to minimize the mess. So we dumped all the stuff in and set the timer for 5 minutes (like the instructions said).
Sidenote: While we were measuring and dumping, I was also making dinner....
So, the 5 minutes was almost up and my Vita-mix started making this horrible sound! The kids start yelling at me telling me to turn it off!! I yell back, "It is not done yet, the timer has not gone off!" (typical analyst!!)....and then the Vita-Mix just stops!!! I panic a bit because this is brand new!
I go to dump out the dough, and it is like cement! And, it is really hot!!! I start laughing, because really, what else am I supposed to do!? So, I follow the instructions and divide this hot cement into four clumps to begin adding the colors.
It was cute! And....my arms hurt! Ha! They were able to get most of the colors blended, needing my assistance at the end. Did I mention it was like cement?!
We put the dough in the fridge to chill and off to mommy's boot-camp we went. When we got home, Chris had a blast playing with it! Lauren decided she wanted to wash my car! We decided to start putting together the time capsule tomorrow. They really wanted to go outside and wash the car. By the way, I was instructed that I was not allowed to help! No arguments here! And, it does not have to look a certain way either! :)
What I noticed, making dinner while making play-dough did not necessarily work for me. I felt like I was trying to do too much at one time. I choose to stay away from frustration or overwhelm, though. This is good for me, as I can easily step into it when I take on too much at once.
This week has been interesting. I noticed that life had kind of taken over. We had Judo classed, soccer meetings, etc. and I also noticed that I was breathing effortlessly through it. I was not panicking, thinking, "We HAVE TO get these activities done." The kids, however, were wondering when when do we get to pull ideas from the jar?
Thursday morning, we pulled out 2 ideas: Make Play-Dough and Create a Time Capsule. Anyone want to guess who said what . . . "I choose out" and "Cool!"... :)
I decided that I was going to go with it. I suggested to Lauren that instead of looking at the activity as something she "has" to do, she can look at it as trying something new and spending time with her mom and brother. I told her that my experience was that she was choosing out of spending time with us and that I felt sad about that. She stewed on that for a little bit as I drove them to camp.
When I picked them up later, they had golf clinic. Normally they golf at separate times, resulting in us being there for 1 1/2 hrs. I made a decision that they would golf together today, so that we had time to go to the grocery store to get what we needed for Play-Dough. Lauren still was not sold on this activity, and came around when she saw the food coloring on the list. At the store, she saw on the back of the box, that she could make all sorts of different colors...."I'm in!!"
I want to affirm Lauren for a second. We tease her sometimes about how she remembers the details of every conversation and every little thing she sees and hears (even when she is not supposed to be listening!). When we got home, I started pulling out the pots to make the play-dough. I had a recipe I found online and it required stove-top cooking. I was in a bit of resistance....it looked so darn messy! Lauren said, "Mom, what are you doing?" Me, "We have to make the dough on the stove". Lauren, "No we dont'. You can use the Vita-Mix....Look (she pulls out the Vita-mix book), it says right here!" She is giggling and said, "I remember everything....remember?" <sigh> God lover her!
They had fun pouring and measuring. I had fun surrendering to "letting" them pour and measure! The inner controller in me normally would have done it all myself, and made them watch....to minimize the mess. So we dumped all the stuff in and set the timer for 5 minutes (like the instructions said).
Sidenote: While we were measuring and dumping, I was also making dinner....
So, the 5 minutes was almost up and my Vita-mix started making this horrible sound! The kids start yelling at me telling me to turn it off!! I yell back, "It is not done yet, the timer has not gone off!" (typical analyst!!)....and then the Vita-Mix just stops!!! I panic a bit because this is brand new!
I go to dump out the dough, and it is like cement! And, it is really hot!!! I start laughing, because really, what else am I supposed to do!? So, I follow the instructions and divide this hot cement into four clumps to begin adding the colors.
It was cute! And....my arms hurt! Ha! They were able to get most of the colors blended, needing my assistance at the end. Did I mention it was like cement?!
We put the dough in the fridge to chill and off to mommy's boot-camp we went. When we got home, Chris had a blast playing with it! Lauren decided she wanted to wash my car! We decided to start putting together the time capsule tomorrow. They really wanted to go outside and wash the car. By the way, I was instructed that I was not allowed to help! No arguments here! And, it does not have to look a certain way either! :)
What I noticed, making dinner while making play-dough did not necessarily work for me. I felt like I was trying to do too much at one time. I choose to stay away from frustration or overwhelm, though. This is good for me, as I can easily step into it when I take on too much at once.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Menchies! YUM!
July 25thToday I picked the kids up from summer day camp. I had a couple errands to run and off we went. We were driving past this outdoor mall and noticed a new place had opened, called "Menchies". Lauren noticed first and noticed the logo and yelled out, "I think it is ice cream!!" "Mmmmom!! Can we pleeeaaase go!?!?" I knew I was taking them AND I did not respond :) I drove around, started driving through the parking lots and listened to them in the backseat, "Where are we going?; This is not the way home!; Oh, going to Target (in a hum-drum tone); Nope, going to Ulta (another hum-drum tone); Mom, where are we going?" Aaahh! I loved it! We pulled up in front of Menchies and the looks on their faces was priceless!
And then we walked in....This place is insane! Self serve frozen yogurt! Really?? They got excited and started looking at all the different flavors...there were about 20! I felt like a kid just walking into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory! Ha! I did not know where to start first! Lauren and Chris both decided they wanted the "Apple Pie" frozen yogurt. So, with their giant cups in hand (one size only....giant!!) I assisted them with that part. They took off over to the trillion topping choices (everything from fresh fruit and sauces to gummy worms and Lucky Charms!). I still stood in front of the frozen yogurt flavors. "What do I want?" After sampling at least a 1/2 dozen (unlimited sampling, by the way!), I chose "Red Velvet". YUM! I piled on the white chocolate chips, cheesecake bites and fresh strawberries. OMG! We all had eyes WWWAAAYY! bigger than our bellies. And, we enjoyed every moment of it!
I chose spontaneous and CAREFREE and it was a major Win-Win!
And then we walked in....This place is insane! Self serve frozen yogurt! Really?? They got excited and started looking at all the different flavors...there were about 20! I felt like a kid just walking into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory! Ha! I did not know where to start first! Lauren and Chris both decided they wanted the "Apple Pie" frozen yogurt. So, with their giant cups in hand (one size only....giant!!) I assisted them with that part. They took off over to the trillion topping choices (everything from fresh fruit and sauces to gummy worms and Lucky Charms!). I still stood in front of the frozen yogurt flavors. "What do I want?" After sampling at least a 1/2 dozen (unlimited sampling, by the way!), I chose "Red Velvet". YUM! I piled on the white chocolate chips, cheesecake bites and fresh strawberries. OMG! We all had eyes WWWAAAYY! bigger than our bellies. And, we enjoyed every moment of it!
I chose spontaneous and CAREFREE and it was a major Win-Win!
From there, the kids wanted to go shopping for school supplies. Huh?? Yep, school supplies. So I figured while they are in this really cooperative place, let's go for it! We stopped home for the lists and off to Target we went. (Minus the "hum-drum" tone) It was great to just GO and DO without planning. They were so into helping find all their items, it became a little scavenger hunt. And, we got to walk off some of the Menchies! (That is at least what I told myself).
We had a great time, and it was completely off the cuff! Look at me - Spontaneous and Carefree!
We had a great time, and it was completely off the cuff! Look at me - Spontaneous and Carefree!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Cheese Touch and The Heat Wave of The Century!
July 18th - July 24th
"Cheese Touch"
So here in Ohio...we expect July to be HOT and HUMID. And this last week I believe we exceeded HOT and HUMID and ventured into unknown territory. At one point, I started to believe that a big hand came down and literally picked up the equator and moved it into the mid-west of our beautiful and HOT country! Do I sound whiny? ....
Well, that is because I was.
Monday we reached into the jar and began pulling out ideas for the day....Board games and go for a walk. The kids vetoed going for a walk..."It's toooooooo hot, mom" (in the whiniest voices imaginable). I could not argue...it was! I suggested that we could drive to the metro-parks where there were lots of trees and walking trails, so that we could at least be shaded. You should have seen the looks I got. So, we kept board games and drew another idea...."Bake a Cake". Me, "FUN!!!" The kids, "No Thanks". Really?? I enticed them with all sorts of ideas and cool things we could do to make a really awesome cake. Still, they passed.
So we decided to head to Target for some new games. We went and I had to say I was excited! It had been a while since we bought new games and I had zero attachment to any kind of scarcity with money. We left with a deck of cards, Diary of a Wimpy Kid Cheese Touch, and Hedbanz (game, not hair accessories).
Cheating, Swimming, Movies and More Swimming
So this heat wave continues. In fact, it pretty much feels like a complete understatement calling it a heat wave! Remember, the equator is now running through the mid-west!
I started feeling anxious. Each day we drew ideas from the jar (The Zoo, camping in the back yard, golfing, hiking in the park), and we ended up putting them back, due to the dangerous heat advisories we had. The kids were totally "chillaxed" with that.
I started noticing that I was treating this weeks goal (10 or more shared activities) like a task. Each activity became a task that I "needed" to check of the list in order to be complete. I knew this was not serving me or my kids. How fun can it be to force something like this? I also felt out-of-control with this whole weather thing, and that was pissing me off. I wanted to be outside with the kids and DOing our activities. Well, last I checked, I still do not have any ability to magically change the weather, and coming to accept that would definitely serve me!
So, I surrendered. I waved my little white flag to Mother Nature. And I accepted that our time together can be whatever we make it. If it means reading books, watching movies and being safe, that is ok! It is now what I am DOing with them, it is how I am BEing when we are together.
We played another board game...Hedbanz. Sidenote: whoever comes up with these games....really!
The object of this game is to strap a plastic blue band around your head and then place a card that has a picture on it, into this little slit on the front of your head band. You cannot see your own picture, because you have to ask the other players questions in order to guess what you are. <sigh>
After the 1st round, Lauren says she is just going to place the headbanz thing in front of her because it is hurting her head. She promises she cannot see picture. Well....after 1 guess, she knows what she. So either my child is a complete clairvoyant, genius....or she can see her picture. Chris and I continue on with the round, asking questions and attempting to guess what we are. It was funny to come up with questions, and annoying at the same time! (just sayin')
Eventually, we finished and it was time for a new round. Lauren insisted on placing the card in front of her, picture facing me and Chris. Chris and I still wear our hedbanz and we start the game. Now, Lauren the Magician asks very specific questions about her card...I mean very specific, and guesses again after 3 turns. So, I move over to where she is sitting and ..... you can totally see through the card and see the picture! I am crushed!
She does not have the gift ...she is cheating!
Anyone want to guess how this goes down? 9 1/2 yr. old who thinks she is 17 gets called out on cheating. Yep, stomping feet, high-pitched-make-your-ears-bleed screaming, and doors slamming.
Palms together, Palms apart, Palms together, Palms apart (K&A grads...you know!)
I give her a few minutes to chill. Chris and I keep playing! I am determined to guess "what I am". (Not including what Lauren was thinking I am in that moment!)
This game is ridiculous and hilarious all at the same time. I was a Unicorn and Chris was a sheep. I am not sure how we figured it out, but we did.
I went to talk to Lauren, and Chris cleaned up the game.
What I learned about my conversation with Lauren:
She is incredibly intelligent (This I already knew)....and she thinks she knows how to use that intelligence to pull one over on people. And, I was amazed at how much she was arguing to be right. I did not care that she cheated and I did. I was more concerned about her unwillingness to be responsible. And I was concerned that this might be a pattern for her. We talked it out and I shared that I loved her no matter what, and that even though it was "just a game" to her, as her mom, it is part of my duty to teach her about life....cheating is never a good thing. It not only takes away the experience of truly accomplishing something on her own, hard work, and integrity, it can put others in a place of not trusting her and her true abilities.
We hugged it out.
She apologized to her brother for cheating.
<sigh>
The rest of our activities involved water and comfort. We went swimming one after-noon and marinated in the pool for over 3 hours. We swam and the kids had a blast doing tricks off the diving board. It was nice to just BE with them. No guilt about what I felt I should be doing. I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
We cuddled up on the couch one night and watched the 1st Harry Potter movie. It was cute to see the actors so young! Christopher was a bit unsure about the movie at times, feeling it was "scary". He cuddled up more, and was okay at bedtime.
We also went to the beach! My parents belong to a beautiful, private beach on Lake Erie. We went for dinner and the kids and I spent quite a bit of time searching the shore line for sand glass. It is amazing that somewhere, somehow, glass bottles ended up in this water and eventually broke up into pieces. Because of the sand and water, it buffs the pieces into really cool shapes and sizes. We found amber, white and aqua colored glass. Chris loves the aqua, because it is really hard to find. It was nice to hang out. I even played in the sand with Lauren and her baby cousin. I cannot remember the last time I plopped my butt in the sand and just played!! It was so relaxing and FUN!
The thing I discovered in me was that even though we may not have crossed off the "10 or more" activities, we still spent time with each other. That time is always going to look different and it may even involve melt downs and temper tantrums. As their mom, I can choose how I show up in those moments. I can choose to be grounded and centered, and BE with them in their stuff....talk with them, ask them questions and as a family discover what is possible.
Life is good.
"Cheese Touch"
So here in Ohio...we expect July to be HOT and HUMID. And this last week I believe we exceeded HOT and HUMID and ventured into unknown territory. At one point, I started to believe that a big hand came down and literally picked up the equator and moved it into the mid-west of our beautiful and HOT country! Do I sound whiny? ....
Well, that is because I was.
Monday we reached into the jar and began pulling out ideas for the day....Board games and go for a walk. The kids vetoed going for a walk..."It's toooooooo hot, mom" (in the whiniest voices imaginable). I could not argue...it was! I suggested that we could drive to the metro-parks where there were lots of trees and walking trails, so that we could at least be shaded. You should have seen the looks I got. So, we kept board games and drew another idea...."Bake a Cake". Me, "FUN!!!" The kids, "No Thanks". Really?? I enticed them with all sorts of ideas and cool things we could do to make a really awesome cake. Still, they passed.
So we decided to head to Target for some new games. We went and I had to say I was excited! It had been a while since we bought new games and I had zero attachment to any kind of scarcity with money. We left with a deck of cards, Diary of a Wimpy Kid Cheese Touch, and Hedbanz (game, not hair accessories).
When we got home, they decided to play Cheese Touch. I have no idea what a "Cheese Touch is. And we began playing the game. Apparently having the "cheese" in the game is a bad thing....And the object was to have anyone but yourself in possession of the "cheese" otherwise you are the "Cheese Touch" 
! This game is actually funny! We had to guess what others may answer, act things out, etc.
As we played on, and after three turns Christopher had not been able to move any additional spaces and he was the "Cheese Touch" the entire time. Tempers were beginning to brew.....
! This game is actually funny! We had to guess what others may answer, act things out, etc. As we played on, and after three turns Christopher had not been able to move any additional spaces and he was the "Cheese Touch" the entire time. Tempers were beginning to brew.....
 |
| (this is our angry face) |
After the fourth turn I became the "Cheese Touch" and he was happy again and since I don't know what cheese touch means...I am happy to move on! Now we come to a crossroads. It becomes my turn again, and because the rules of the game dictate that I "have to" pass the "Cheese" to my left (Christopher). I thought about cheating, to protect my little guy from disappointment and anger. Then I thought about life (very quickly, of course) and I chose to continue to play the game. I passed the cheese back to Christopher and he refused to take it. He kept throwing it back at me and got upset because "it wasn't fair". And then, he quit. He said, "I am done. I hate this game, and I don't want to play any more!"
As his mom, I felt bad and I also know that these are the little life lessons we get to experience to teach us and help us grow. We talked about quitting and how that is not the best answer. He loves Judo, and is an outstanding Judo player. I asked him about when he is sparring and his opponent may be winning, does he quit and give up or does he fight back even harder to reverse his opponents hold? He said, "I work harder and I don't give up. But Mom, I don't like losing". I reminded him that we were only 1/2 way through the game, and that he could end up winning. And, just because he saw the cheese as a bad thing, did not mean it had to ruin his game. Hmmmmm.....
He said, "Mom, I really just want to go outside and play with my friends now. Can we play the game another day?" Lauren chimed in and wanted to go outside too...despite the nauseating heat.
As much as I cannot stand to be out there, I chose to willingly be uncomfortable (literally) and do what they wanted. I did not even think about it really. We cleaned up the game, we put our shoes on and headed out to mother nature's oven. They had fun. Later on Chris hugged me and said he really loves "Cheese Touch" and was sorry for quitting.
He said, "Mom, I really just want to go outside and play with my friends now. Can we play the game another day?" Lauren chimed in and wanted to go outside too...despite the nauseating heat.
As much as I cannot stand to be out there, I chose to willingly be uncomfortable (literally) and do what they wanted. I did not even think about it really. We cleaned up the game, we put our shoes on and headed out to mother nature's oven. They had fun. Later on Chris hugged me and said he really loves "Cheese Touch" and was sorry for quitting.
What did I learn? That even as a grown-up, I don't like to "lose" either. And, that my perception of The Game (life) is just that...it is a perception. The Game can change any time, simply by how I choose to look at it. I can choose to think that just because The Game is not looking quite like I thought it should, that I am losing or failing OR I can choose to find out what is fun and how to turn The Game in my favor to get what it is I say I want.
Cheese Touch!!
Cheating, Swimming, Movies and More Swimming
So this heat wave continues. In fact, it pretty much feels like a complete understatement calling it a heat wave! Remember, the equator is now running through the mid-west!
I started feeling anxious. Each day we drew ideas from the jar (The Zoo, camping in the back yard, golfing, hiking in the park), and we ended up putting them back, due to the dangerous heat advisories we had. The kids were totally "chillaxed" with that.
I started noticing that I was treating this weeks goal (10 or more shared activities) like a task. Each activity became a task that I "needed" to check of the list in order to be complete. I knew this was not serving me or my kids. How fun can it be to force something like this? I also felt out-of-control with this whole weather thing, and that was pissing me off. I wanted to be outside with the kids and DOing our activities. Well, last I checked, I still do not have any ability to magically change the weather, and coming to accept that would definitely serve me!
So, I surrendered. I waved my little white flag to Mother Nature. And I accepted that our time together can be whatever we make it. If it means reading books, watching movies and being safe, that is ok! It is now what I am DOing with them, it is how I am BEing when we are together.
We played another board game...Hedbanz. Sidenote: whoever comes up with these games....really!
The object of this game is to strap a plastic blue band around your head and then place a card that has a picture on it, into this little slit on the front of your head band. You cannot see your own picture, because you have to ask the other players questions in order to guess what you are. <sigh>
After the 1st round, Lauren says she is just going to place the headbanz thing in front of her because it is hurting her head. She promises she cannot see picture. Well....after 1 guess, she knows what she. So either my child is a complete clairvoyant, genius....or she can see her picture. Chris and I continue on with the round, asking questions and attempting to guess what we are. It was funny to come up with questions, and annoying at the same time! (just sayin')
Eventually, we finished and it was time for a new round. Lauren insisted on placing the card in front of her, picture facing me and Chris. Chris and I still wear our hedbanz and we start the game. Now, Lauren the Magician asks very specific questions about her card...I mean very specific, and guesses again after 3 turns. So, I move over to where she is sitting and ..... you can totally see through the card and see the picture! I am crushed!
She does not have the gift ...she is cheating!
Anyone want to guess how this goes down? 9 1/2 yr. old who thinks she is 17 gets called out on cheating. Yep, stomping feet, high-pitched-make-your-ears-bleed screaming, and doors slamming.
Palms together, Palms apart, Palms together, Palms apart (K&A grads...you know!)
I give her a few minutes to chill. Chris and I keep playing! I am determined to guess "what I am". (Not including what Lauren was thinking I am in that moment!)
This game is ridiculous and hilarious all at the same time. I was a Unicorn and Chris was a sheep. I am not sure how we figured it out, but we did.
I went to talk to Lauren, and Chris cleaned up the game.
What I learned about my conversation with Lauren:
She is incredibly intelligent (This I already knew)....and she thinks she knows how to use that intelligence to pull one over on people. And, I was amazed at how much she was arguing to be right. I did not care that she cheated and I did. I was more concerned about her unwillingness to be responsible. And I was concerned that this might be a pattern for her. We talked it out and I shared that I loved her no matter what, and that even though it was "just a game" to her, as her mom, it is part of my duty to teach her about life....cheating is never a good thing. It not only takes away the experience of truly accomplishing something on her own, hard work, and integrity, it can put others in a place of not trusting her and her true abilities.
We hugged it out.
She apologized to her brother for cheating.
<sigh>
The rest of our activities involved water and comfort. We went swimming one after-noon and marinated in the pool for over 3 hours. We swam and the kids had a blast doing tricks off the diving board. It was nice to just BE with them. No guilt about what I felt I should be doing. I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
We cuddled up on the couch one night and watched the 1st Harry Potter movie. It was cute to see the actors so young! Christopher was a bit unsure about the movie at times, feeling it was "scary". He cuddled up more, and was okay at bedtime.
We also went to the beach! My parents belong to a beautiful, private beach on Lake Erie. We went for dinner and the kids and I spent quite a bit of time searching the shore line for sand glass. It is amazing that somewhere, somehow, glass bottles ended up in this water and eventually broke up into pieces. Because of the sand and water, it buffs the pieces into really cool shapes and sizes. We found amber, white and aqua colored glass. Chris loves the aqua, because it is really hard to find. It was nice to hang out. I even played in the sand with Lauren and her baby cousin. I cannot remember the last time I plopped my butt in the sand and just played!! It was so relaxing and FUN!
The thing I discovered in me was that even though we may not have crossed off the "10 or more" activities, we still spent time with each other. That time is always going to look different and it may even involve melt downs and temper tantrums. As their mom, I can choose how I show up in those moments. I can choose to be grounded and centered, and BE with them in their stuff....talk with them, ask them questions and as a family discover what is possible.
Life is good.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
What do Red Robin, Baskin Robins and Lightning McQueen have in common?
July 15th, 16th and 17th
Wow! It is Sunday evening, and I am T-I-R-E-D! We had such a great weekend....at least in my opinion! Friday Lauren picked the location of our family dinner. Only the best for this family! She picked Red Robin. Lauren is the family "Ham-burglar", that girl loves her burgers! So, of course I am happy to oblige AND I was a bit resistant, too. The healthy side of me did not want their bottomless basket of fries anywhere near these hips! After all, I am 37 and about to be a bridesmaid for the 20th time in my life! Really.
It was all good, and the bottomless pit of saturated fat and extra calories was never offered! (Amen!!) The kids loved singing along to the 7 or so birthday songs that were sung while we were there, and the celebratory balloon on the way out was just the icing on the cake. We then decided to go for ice-cream. (I know...fries and then ice cream...) I was NOT resistant to that, at all! Ice cream is my kryptonite....it can weaken even my strongest willpower. Baskin Robins....here we come! Lauren always gets the same thing. Chris opted for the fruit smoothie (he is not that much into sweets) and I went straight for the double chocolate/peanut butter chunk! (one scoop, of course) YUUUUMMM!
Saturday, Lauren picked again. Chris decided to be nice brother and gave his turn to her. Drive-In Movie! I was reaaaaalllly excited about this one! And the kids were too! The features were Cars 2 or Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2. Cars 2 was the obvious choice, considering Chris still will not go upstairs without me or Lauren with him. That evening, we packed all of our favorite snacks, our blankets and pillows and headed out for this super fun adventure! How cool to sit in the trunk of our SUV, tune into a radio station (no more funky, metal things hanging from the car window!) and watch a movie with the family! Chris fell asleep 3/4 of the way through and of course Lauren wanted to stay for the next feature! It was a really cute movie and Chris said he had a great time . .... :)Sunday....ahhhh Sunday. After Lauren slept off her drive-in movie, junk food hang-over (Chris and I had already been up for a couple hours!), it was time to draw the activity or 2 for the day. This was an interesting experience. It was Christopher's turn to draw from the jar. Ironically, the first activity neither of them liked. The second, Lauren did not want to do. The third activity, Lauren refused to do. And then finally the fourth, Lauren "hated" and swore she would NEVER do! (2 of the 4 had her hand writing on them....hmmm?) So, I sat there, feeling anger and frustration coming over me. "This is supposed to be fun, damn it!" I was thinking. I could feel the drama ensuing and I made a choice right then and there that we were going to take a different path today. I let Lauren know that she did not have to participate in anything, and she could also choose to have fun, despite her feeling resistant. I told her that sometimes, I am not super thrilled about the activity, AND I choose to have FUN anyway! And, I do! And (this is cute), Chris said, "Lauren, remember when I chose out of the bouncy balls? Remember when I came in later and made them with mom and Aiden? I had fun!"
At this point Christopher and I were setting up a game of Cadoo, and invited Lauren to play along with us. I am going to chalk up her response to the recent full moon we just had.....OMG!! The critical parent in me wanted to spew all sorts of critical parent words, with finger waving! Then I thought, "Different path, Different path...."
I took a deep breath and began asking questions, instead of telling Lauren where to go!! (her room was pretty far down on that list!)
I was again, amazed, at how awesome this open ended question thing works! Within a few minutes, were were at a place of peace, calm and joy. And for the next 1 1/2 hrs. we played Cadoo, which by the way, was not one of the ideas from the jar. We put all the vetoed activities back in the jar for another day. And, we made agreements that when they choose an activity, that is the one we choose for the day.
Wonder what is in store for Monday? Can't wait to find out!
Wow! It is Sunday evening, and I am T-I-R-E-D! We had such a great weekend....at least in my opinion! Friday Lauren picked the location of our family dinner. Only the best for this family! She picked Red Robin. Lauren is the family "Ham-burglar", that girl loves her burgers! So, of course I am happy to oblige AND I was a bit resistant, too. The healthy side of me did not want their bottomless basket of fries anywhere near these hips! After all, I am 37 and about to be a bridesmaid for the 20th time in my life! Really.
It was all good, and the bottomless pit of saturated fat and extra calories was never offered! (Amen!!) The kids loved singing along to the 7 or so birthday songs that were sung while we were there, and the celebratory balloon on the way out was just the icing on the cake. We then decided to go for ice-cream. (I know...fries and then ice cream...) I was NOT resistant to that, at all! Ice cream is my kryptonite....it can weaken even my strongest willpower. Baskin Robins....here we come! Lauren always gets the same thing. Chris opted for the fruit smoothie (he is not that much into sweets) and I went straight for the double chocolate/peanut butter chunk! (one scoop, of course) YUUUUMMM!
Saturday, Lauren picked again. Chris decided to be nice brother and gave his turn to her. Drive-In Movie! I was reaaaaalllly excited about this one! And the kids were too! The features were Cars 2 or Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2. Cars 2 was the obvious choice, considering Chris still will not go upstairs without me or Lauren with him. That evening, we packed all of our favorite snacks, our blankets and pillows and headed out for this super fun adventure! How cool to sit in the trunk of our SUV, tune into a radio station (no more funky, metal things hanging from the car window!) and watch a movie with the family! Chris fell asleep 3/4 of the way through and of course Lauren wanted to stay for the next feature! It was a really cute movie and Chris said he had a great time . .... :)Sunday....ahhhh Sunday. After Lauren slept off her drive-in movie, junk food hang-over (Chris and I had already been up for a couple hours!), it was time to draw the activity or 2 for the day. This was an interesting experience. It was Christopher's turn to draw from the jar. Ironically, the first activity neither of them liked. The second, Lauren did not want to do. The third activity, Lauren refused to do. And then finally the fourth, Lauren "hated" and swore she would NEVER do! (2 of the 4 had her hand writing on them....hmmm?) So, I sat there, feeling anger and frustration coming over me. "This is supposed to be fun, damn it!" I was thinking. I could feel the drama ensuing and I made a choice right then and there that we were going to take a different path today. I let Lauren know that she did not have to participate in anything, and she could also choose to have fun, despite her feeling resistant. I told her that sometimes, I am not super thrilled about the activity, AND I choose to have FUN anyway! And, I do! And (this is cute), Chris said, "Lauren, remember when I chose out of the bouncy balls? Remember when I came in later and made them with mom and Aiden? I had fun!"
At this point Christopher and I were setting up a game of Cadoo, and invited Lauren to play along with us. I am going to chalk up her response to the recent full moon we just had.....OMG!! The critical parent in me wanted to spew all sorts of critical parent words, with finger waving! Then I thought, "Different path, Different path...."
I took a deep breath and began asking questions, instead of telling Lauren where to go!! (her room was pretty far down on that list!)
I was again, amazed, at how awesome this open ended question thing works! Within a few minutes, were were at a place of peace, calm and joy. And for the next 1 1/2 hrs. we played Cadoo, which by the way, was not one of the ideas from the jar. We put all the vetoed activities back in the jar for another day. And, we made agreements that when they choose an activity, that is the one we choose for the day.
Wonder what is in store for Monday? Can't wait to find out!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wii Are Family!
July 14th
Family Wii Night!
The Wii tends to be something the kids "do"....mainly Christopher. I have played a few times and quite honestly, I get how it can be so addicting! Today I picked the kids up from day camp and we were headed right home to have a snack and rock out some time on the Wii.
I noticed that I was worried about "how long" this was going to take. I was going out with friends later and wanted to make sure I had time to get ready. (had to make sure I was "looking good", right?....ugh!) And, I also noticed that I was worrying about my phone.
Chris and I played Mario Kart. This is his favorite and I am shocked at how good he can be at "driving" when in real life he his little feet don't even come close to real gas pedals!
He kicked my butt! And, I was pissed! I definitely have a competitive side and apparently so does my son (read on....) I did make sure I that I did not show I was upset that I could not get past 10th place in any of the races, after all, Chris was thrilled that I was even playing. Mission complete, right? NO!
It was then Lauren's turn to pick the game. "Just Dance 2"....yeah! I did not got to the gym that day, so I was pumped about the exercise! We got through the first dance and apparently I "won". I was not sure how this game is scored, but Lauren got mad and said, "I quit!". Normally, my response would be something like, "fine, be a sore loser" or "Quitting doesn't get you anywhere". (yuk!) This day was different. We talked it out. I asked her what the reason was for quitting? How does it make her feel to quit? How would she feel if she stayed and chose "fun" over the need to win? AAH! It worked. She stayed and we danced some more....and had "fun". So much so, that I heard my phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. Lauren wanted to stop so I could answer.....I said, "nope! this is our time."
It was then time for Wii Sports! Tennis to be exact. Thank God, it was not visible to others!! Again, my competitive side crept up a few times. I was playing against Chris and apparently I served the ball a little to hard....he go mad, threw the Wii controller a the wall and stormed off, shouting, "you don't play fair and I quit!!" (What the . . . ????)
Normally I be fuming because I have a strict rule about throwing toys and respecting our things. I walked over to him, gave him a hug and asked him if he really wanted to quit? He had on his "angry face" and usually this is when I walk away. But....I continued to hug him and told him that there will be lots of time in life when things seem hard or unfair and that quitting only makes life harder. I asked him if he wanted to make this time hard or fun? He said fun. We played more tennis, then baseball and then more tennis! I woke up Friday morning with a very sore arm!
And, we did have fun! I did not care how silly I looked dancing to "It's Raining Men" or how gimpy I looked driving around as "Diddy Kong" in Mario Kart. I also noticed that when my kids were in their "stuff" around how they thought things should look, I chose in. I chose to use the time and the experience to help them learn and grow, rather than letting them fester and marinade in it. Becaue I chose to show up in a different way, they chose to show up differently as well. hmmmmmmmm.......
Wii are good! Wii had a great time! Wii are a pretty cool family!
Family Wii Night!
The Wii tends to be something the kids "do"....mainly Christopher. I have played a few times and quite honestly, I get how it can be so addicting! Today I picked the kids up from day camp and we were headed right home to have a snack and rock out some time on the Wii.
I noticed that I was worried about "how long" this was going to take. I was going out with friends later and wanted to make sure I had time to get ready. (had to make sure I was "looking good", right?....ugh!) And, I also noticed that I was worrying about my phone.
Chris and I played Mario Kart. This is his favorite and I am shocked at how good he can be at "driving" when in real life he his little feet don't even come close to real gas pedals!
He kicked my butt! And, I was pissed! I definitely have a competitive side and apparently so does my son (read on....) I did make sure I that I did not show I was upset that I could not get past 10th place in any of the races, after all, Chris was thrilled that I was even playing. Mission complete, right? NO!
It was then Lauren's turn to pick the game. "Just Dance 2"....yeah! I did not got to the gym that day, so I was pumped about the exercise! We got through the first dance and apparently I "won". I was not sure how this game is scored, but Lauren got mad and said, "I quit!". Normally, my response would be something like, "fine, be a sore loser" or "Quitting doesn't get you anywhere". (yuk!) This day was different. We talked it out. I asked her what the reason was for quitting? How does it make her feel to quit? How would she feel if she stayed and chose "fun" over the need to win? AAH! It worked. She stayed and we danced some more....and had "fun". So much so, that I heard my phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. Lauren wanted to stop so I could answer.....I said, "nope! this is our time."
It was then time for Wii Sports! Tennis to be exact. Thank God, it was not visible to others!! Again, my competitive side crept up a few times. I was playing against Chris and apparently I served the ball a little to hard....he go mad, threw the Wii controller a the wall and stormed off, shouting, "you don't play fair and I quit!!" (What the . . . ????)
Normally I be fuming because I have a strict rule about throwing toys and respecting our things. I walked over to him, gave him a hug and asked him if he really wanted to quit? He had on his "angry face" and usually this is when I walk away. But....I continued to hug him and told him that there will be lots of time in life when things seem hard or unfair and that quitting only makes life harder. I asked him if he wanted to make this time hard or fun? He said fun. We played more tennis, then baseball and then more tennis! I woke up Friday morning with a very sore arm!
And, we did have fun! I did not care how silly I looked dancing to "It's Raining Men" or how gimpy I looked driving around as "Diddy Kong" in Mario Kart. I also noticed that when my kids were in their "stuff" around how they thought things should look, I chose in. I chose to use the time and the experience to help them learn and grow, rather than letting them fester and marinade in it. Becaue I chose to show up in a different way, they chose to show up differently as well. hmmmmmmmm.......
Wii are good! Wii had a great time! Wii are a pretty cool family!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Rodrick Rules!
July 12th
Family Movie Night
Maybe for some, family movie night is a no-brainer....pop in the movie, turn out the lights and...
Not so much for this "Gotta-Get-Things-Done" mom. Movie night usually goes like this.... The kids get all excited, they get their jammies on, pick out the movie and wait for mommy to stop milling around. We pop the movie in, and I sit for a few minutes. Until the phone rings, or I hear the dryer "ding" reminding me of the never-ending laundry pile...I end up doing stuff rather than BE with my kids. They end up telling me all about the movie, expressing their wish that I would have actually watched it with them.
So this night I set out to BE much different. We stopped at the store and got the popcorn and picked out our movie..."Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules!". Lauren was excited....she has read every book in the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series at least 8 times, and she had been begging to get the movie. Chris was thrilled! He was adorable, reminding me that laundry was "not gonna happen"!
I will admit, I was excited too! I turned off my laptop, put the blackberry on silence, and never gave a second thought to what was in the washing machine or dryer. I was okay with it....surrendering and letting go of responsibilities. We popped the popcorn, turned out the lights, cuddled up and got lost in the crazy, fun adventures of Greg and his big brother Rodrick. This was the first time in a long time that I finally sat and gave the kids what they wanted. It was not about the movie, or the yummy treats....it was about wanting mom, wanting something as simple as cuddling up on the couch, and connecting over something that was important to them.
I am deserving of this time with them, worthy of their time. Most importantly, they are deserving and worthy of me.
So, in the end, Rodrick ruled....for reasons beyond the movie!!
Family Movie Night
Maybe for some, family movie night is a no-brainer....pop in the movie, turn out the lights and...
Not so much for this "Gotta-Get-Things-Done" mom. Movie night usually goes like this.... The kids get all excited, they get their jammies on, pick out the movie and wait for mommy to stop milling around. We pop the movie in, and I sit for a few minutes. Until the phone rings, or I hear the dryer "ding" reminding me of the never-ending laundry pile...I end up doing stuff rather than BE with my kids. They end up telling me all about the movie, expressing their wish that I would have actually watched it with them.
So this night I set out to BE much different. We stopped at the store and got the popcorn and picked out our movie..."Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules!". Lauren was excited....she has read every book in the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series at least 8 times, and she had been begging to get the movie. Chris was thrilled! He was adorable, reminding me that laundry was "not gonna happen"!
I will admit, I was excited too! I turned off my laptop, put the blackberry on silence, and never gave a second thought to what was in the washing machine or dryer. I was okay with it....surrendering and letting go of responsibilities. We popped the popcorn, turned out the lights, cuddled up and got lost in the crazy, fun adventures of Greg and his big brother Rodrick. This was the first time in a long time that I finally sat and gave the kids what they wanted. It was not about the movie, or the yummy treats....it was about wanting mom, wanting something as simple as cuddling up on the couch, and connecting over something that was important to them.
I am deserving of this time with them, worthy of their time. Most importantly, they are deserving and worthy of me.
So, in the end, Rodrick ruled....for reasons beyond the movie!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Jar
Monday, July 11th
So, this was the first time the kids were pulling our next activity out of the jar (not really a "jar", more like a plastic storage container, but we call it what we call it.)
I was nervous. I was in lots of scarcity around money and time. "Please, please, please do not choose something that is going to cost a lot of money", is what I am thinking in my head. Geeeeeeez!
I quickly re-center myself and quite my mind. I remind myself that this is all perfect and no mater what, I can choose my level of presence and connection to my kids.
So, Little Man sticks is sweet little hand and pulls out the little slip of paper. He chooses "Create Mini-Me's". "Sweet, I think! and fun!" NOPE....they both veto that one! They both decide to put that back and choose something else.
(My need to control was subdued, going with the flow is what I choose!)
Little Man draws a new slip of paper......"Crafts". "Ok", I think to myself, "This is good. Love crafts!"
Later on I have to pull Chris away from his friends outside...I bribe him with dinner at Subway. We went to Michael's, and the kids picked out the kit to make bouncy balls and on the way home, Chris says to me, "I would rather play with my friends than make bouncy balls. I choose out." (???!)
(He chooses out? Wonder where he gets that language from??)
So, now I have all this "stuff" going through my head. Is this supposed to look a certain way? Is this "right"? What is wrong that he chooses out?
Then I remind myself....this can look any way, and really? how fun can it be for him, if I force him to have fun??
Lauren and I bust open the bouncy ball kit and Chris flees outside to play with his pals. This is a relatively entertaining process. I am amazed at who comes up with the science behind creating a bouncy ball in 15 minutes! Very cool!
Lauren combines several colors and we talk about her day at camp and some of her favorite parts of her weekend at the lake house.
The quiet time with her was serene. Usually, Chris is interrupting or I am distracted by something else....barely hearing the words she speaks to me.
The serenity was short and sweet! Ha haha....Christopher and the neighbor next door (Aiden...who cannot say his "L's" or "R's"
) come bounding in the back door! "We want to make bouncy bauws to, Angewa", says Aiden.
I think to myself, this can look any way we want, right? Bring it!
Chris and Aiden design a bouncy ball together, and while it soaks in water to become a bouncy ball, they run back outside.
Enter Kaitlyn, Lauren's gal pal. Lauren's ball (in 15 minutes) is complete! Lauren and Kaitlyn design a ball and Lauren tells Kaitlyn all about "the jar" and all the activities. Kaitlyn's eyes are wide and she gets excited. The girls decide to pick "tomorrow's" activity, which is fine by me (the controller within can plan ahead and be prepared...ugh!). Kaitlyn draws "Family Movie Night".
All of a sudden, we seem to be planning a movie night that is turning into a slumber party.... <sigh>.....
This whole activity, lasted about 30-minutes.....AND I had FUN! My kids had FUN, and we added a couple other to have FUN, too!
Can't wait to see how this ends up looking tomorrow!
So, this was the first time the kids were pulling our next activity out of the jar (not really a "jar", more like a plastic storage container, but we call it what we call it.)
I was nervous. I was in lots of scarcity around money and time. "Please, please, please do not choose something that is going to cost a lot of money", is what I am thinking in my head. Geeeeeeez!
I quickly re-center myself and quite my mind. I remind myself that this is all perfect and no mater what, I can choose my level of presence and connection to my kids.
So, Little Man sticks is sweet little hand and pulls out the little slip of paper. He chooses "Create Mini-Me's". "Sweet, I think! and fun!" NOPE....they both veto that one! They both decide to put that back and choose something else.
(My need to control was subdued, going with the flow is what I choose!)
Little Man draws a new slip of paper......"Crafts". "Ok", I think to myself, "This is good. Love crafts!"
Later on I have to pull Chris away from his friends outside...I bribe him with dinner at Subway. We went to Michael's, and the kids picked out the kit to make bouncy balls and on the way home, Chris says to me, "I would rather play with my friends than make bouncy balls. I choose out." (???!)
(He chooses out? Wonder where he gets that language from??)
So, now I have all this "stuff" going through my head. Is this supposed to look a certain way? Is this "right"? What is wrong that he chooses out?
Then I remind myself....this can look any way, and really? how fun can it be for him, if I force him to have fun??
Lauren and I bust open the bouncy ball kit and Chris flees outside to play with his pals. This is a relatively entertaining process. I am amazed at who comes up with the science behind creating a bouncy ball in 15 minutes! Very cool!
Lauren combines several colors and we talk about her day at camp and some of her favorite parts of her weekend at the lake house.
The quiet time with her was serene. Usually, Chris is interrupting or I am distracted by something else....barely hearing the words she speaks to me.
The serenity was short and sweet! Ha haha....Christopher and the neighbor next door (Aiden...who cannot say his "L's" or "R's"
) come bounding in the back door! "We want to make bouncy bauws to, Angewa", says Aiden.I think to myself, this can look any way we want, right? Bring it!
Chris and Aiden design a bouncy ball together, and while it soaks in water to become a bouncy ball, they run back outside.
Enter Kaitlyn, Lauren's gal pal. Lauren's ball (in 15 minutes) is complete! Lauren and Kaitlyn design a ball and Lauren tells Kaitlyn all about "the jar" and all the activities. Kaitlyn's eyes are wide and she gets excited. The girls decide to pick "tomorrow's" activity, which is fine by me (the controller within can plan ahead and be prepared...ugh!). Kaitlyn draws "Family Movie Night".
All of a sudden, we seem to be planning a movie night that is turning into a slumber party.... <sigh>.....
This whole activity, lasted about 30-minutes.....AND I had FUN! My kids had FUN, and we added a couple other to have FUN, too!
Can't wait to see how this ends up looking tomorrow!
The Lake House & The Jumbo Dog!
June 8-10th
Today we arrived at Lake Buckhorn in Millersburg , Ohio Cleveland
When we were about 30 minutes away, I was scheduled to be on our team leader call with my Isagenix team. I made a commitment to be on this call as Marcia Weider, The Dream University, was going to be offering some amazing incentives exclusively to our team, to attend her remaining few workshops/trainings. The kids were great and understanding. While I listened to Marcia speak about her workshops I was in awe of her presence. She was so commanding. Her level of belief in what she had available to us was captivating. She definitely enrolled me….AND my programs around time and money scarcity popped up big time…that is another story.
When we arrived, the kids flew out of the car and went to see their pals Dominic, Nathanial, and Arianna. I remained on the call and sat in my car. I noticed that I was feeling guilt for remaining on the call AND feeling guilt for wanting to hang up. I was at my destination and I made a commitment to unplug while here. I decided to unload the car, and then hang up J . And I did! It was time to have FUN!
So, the kids took all of 3.5 minutes to get settled and they were out the door, with swimsuits on, heading down to the boat dock to swim. I found out I was sharing a bunk with Lauren (the nine year old who snores like a 500 lb. truck driver) …JOY!!! This is time to connect! Two other families, one of which we know, will be arriving on Saturday. This will be great…except Joe and Michelle are getting the room I coveted! Joy….connecting….carefree, right!!? I AM flexible and CAREFREE, so no biggie!
Ok, got all the food unpacked….the kids were already in their swimsuits and down by the boat. So, I change into my swimsuit and started worrying about my damn hair getting messed up once we head out for an afternoon of tubing, “jumbo dogging” and other shenanigans….fun, connecting….BE Carefree!! I got over it pretty quickly and off we went!
I love being out on the water, especially this lake that stays nice and calm and flat! The kids were swimming and then it was time to boat up. Christopher, my 7 yr. old tends to be a little trepidatious on the water. He will eventually get on the “hamburger” (giant tubing thing), but usually sits and observes from the boat for the first couple runs around the lake. Lauren, jumped right out there and off we went. I LOVE watching them laugh and seeing the pure joy on their faces. This is priceless to me. After several runs and the kids taking turns on the Jumbo Dog and “The hamburger”, Christopher asked me to go on the Jumbo Dog with him.
Pause…..
The Jumbo Dog…..Do you remember the movie “Jaws”? Do you remember the big rocket looking thing that people sat on that was dragged behind a boat? Well, the Jumbo Dog is quite similar, except it looks like a giant, blown up hot dog. It seats 5 and, well, the rest speaks for itself!
Ok, so me and Claudia (my friend and neighbor) climb on. I go in the back, she goes in the front and we have 2 children in between. You can only imagine the grown up jokes flying around about this! ;) heeheeheehee! Claudia’s husband, Mike, starts up and off we go. After about 30 seconds, I see Claudia bounce up in front; then I bounce up in back; then she bounces; then I bounce….Imagine if you will…and inflatable teeter-tatter. She yells at me to stop bouncing! I yell at her to stop bouncing! The kids yell at us to stop bouncing! OH MY! We were screaming and laughing so hard. And, Mike kept speeding the boat up faster and faster. It was all too much! It felt like and eternity and it was so much fun. Once we got ourselves back on the boat, regained our breath from laughing so hard we determined that the Jumbo Dog may be better suited for those with smaller butts!
We had an amazing evening and the kids crashed hard! And, sharing the room with the 9 yr. old snore queen was actually FUN. I think I crashed just as hard, because never heard a sound out of her.
Saturday, I honored myself with a 20-minute run….lots of inclines…Wow! We had a great day Saturday. Two other families joined us and Lauren was excited because she goes to school with Jordan and her sister Taylor. Interestingly, the boat dock roof also serves as a jumping board. Most of the kids jumped. Not my Christopher. He was content sitting and watching. Taylor
So for those of us who have deeply entrenched ourselves in K&A work, think of “The Edge” or even “Mount Everest ”. This was my little girl’s moment to overcome her fear. (Ironically, last summer she jumped off that roof for hours!). God Bless dads floating in the water, on their noodles, with Miller Lite’s in hand. The coached, encouraged, cheered rallied, and celebrated her. She stood and cried….tried to climb back down the ladder; went back up; got back down; cried some more; and then stood and contemplated. I sat and watched. She looked at me at one point, high up from the roof and said, “I am scared”. I said, “Jellybean, you get to go when you are ready. Make a choice and go with it. Choose and Move.” Lauren snarked back, “We aren’t at Sam Camp Mom!!” Ugh! I decided to shut up. This was her journey, her moment. Mr. Joe, floated close to where she could land, and patiently waited. And, then she did it! She jumped and came out of the water with the biggest grin on her face. So, need I say more on what Lauren did for the next hour? She jumped off the roof top, with joy!
My regret….that I did not jump off with her. She wanted me to do it. I noticed that my “looking good” programs popped up for me. What was I afraid of? I mean, my 9-yr. old dug deep to find the courage. I promise….the next time we go down there, the first thing I do will be to jump off that boat dock roof!
It was so nice to just BE, to swim with the kids and to watch them have so much fun. I did not miss my blackberry at all. I was not once tempted to check my emails. I enjoyed being unplugged and definitely look forward to more activities where I can do that again.
We played hard, and arrived home with more memories to add to our hearts and excitement for what else is store.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
The End and The Beginning
The million dollar question...When did this mom become disconnected from BEing fun, playful and carefree? I am not sure I have an exact moment in time to pinpoint, I just know that it happened. I do recognized that events in my life have probably put me in a position where I subconsciously made the choice to put those things on the back burner.
I think I have always carried the program with me....worrying about what others think. So, that could be a part of it. I remember as a kid, my mom ALWAYS wondering "what would the neighbors think?"; "what would your friends think?" I am not sure I remember my mom being too playful with my brother and I. It was always about "getting things done". Clean your room, do the laundry, clean the house....get things done. After all, everything had to look good. My dad on the other hand...he was the playful one. He like to play practical jokes, was always horsing around and attempting to lighten things up a little. So, I know it is in me somewhere.
I see me know with my kids and I am always very "tasky" with them. Although, teaching them to respect their home and their belongings by helping pick up and put things away is not too crazy...at least don't think. And, raising them alone, I know has put an extra burden on them. I am all about them having fun, playing outside, running around with their friends, and playing with their toys using their imagination!! And, I do see my other programs around "getting things done" over ruling sometimes.
As I think about our life over the past several years, I cannot help to think about how much different I might BE if their dad, my husband was still alive.
August 19th, 2005 Chris passed away from stage 4 lung cancer. Yes...he smoked (I hate when people ask me that! And...it is always the first question). He was only 38 years old. His life ended much to soon. And at 31 I was a widow, facing raising a 3 1/2 yr. old daughter and a 16 month old son.
WOW! Talk about life altering!
I really, don't remember much of the 1st year after he passed away. I do remember making sure that the kids had a sense of normalcy, that their routines did not change much. I bought them a fantastic play scape for the backyard and we went to Florida with my neighbor and her little baby Ryan (who is now 5!). I remember that I attempted to explain to a 3 year old about heaven, and why she would not physically see her dad again. Her heartache was debilitating to me! My sweet baby boy, had no idea what was going on (which I guess could be seen a some sort of blessing). I remember hating to go to bed. I remember that I avoided one section of our couch for about 6 months, because that is where Chris slept when he was too weak to go upstairs.
I remember that before Chris got sick, my favorite thing to do was to sit and PLAY with my kids. I loved watching them giggle, and learn and experience life. I loved watching Lauren run around with this massive head of long, curly hair....her chubby cheeks used to jiggle when she ran. She LOVED all things princessy and dresses that "twirled". Christopher (Little Man), was such a sweet baby, and as long as he was held and snuggled, he was happy.
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I think after we lost Chris, I felt I lost the ability to just sit and play. It was now up me to make sure EVERYTHING GOT DONE. I had to pay the bills (ugh! That was his thing...he loved it, as any controller/analyst would!) Yard work....really!? (I have come to accept it and even consider it therapeutic at times). BE the soul provider for our family. Do the grocery shopping. Do the laundry. Go to work. Be the good cop and bad cop....which sucks! Be Mom and Dad. I remember thinking, this is not what I signed up for. I signed up for the great, handsome husband...the beautiful house, the healthy, beautiful children and a long, healthy, happy life together! What the hell happened?!
Lauren is now 9 1/2 and Little Man is 7. Lauren is a gorgeous, super-sensitive, uber-intelligent, funny, spunky, (bossy), loving young girl. I want to puke thinking about her turning 10! I am not ready for the double digits....and all that it will be encompassing! Little Man is an adorable, handsome, head strong, ACTIVE, funny, loving, ACTIVE, and did I mention head strong little boy! He is definitely going to be involved in some sort of extreme sport and rock band when he is older. He has no fear....which I admire and worry about all at the same time.
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I am recognizing that I want to be PLAYFUL, CAREFREE, and CONNECTED with my kids again. I am all they have as a parent right now and I see how important it will be for them to know that this parent made a choice to reconnect. I want them to come to me with anything, free of judgement (which has sometimes been a struggle for me), free of negative experience. I want our relationship to be solid, connected, open, trusting and filled with mutual respect.
I know now that my Journey, as rough as it may have been, has brought me to exactly where I am supposed to be. All of the work I have done with K&A, has already helped me become a better mom....by giving me the tools to increase my awareness in how I have been showing up in my relationship with my kids. As I start this next journey, I am excited to embark upon this 7-week goal:
On or before August 24th, 2011, 11pm AZ time, I have shared 40 or more activities with Lauren and Christopher!
The jar is filled with ideas! I am looking forward to turning off the Blackberry, turning on the "Out Of Office" reply, and turning on the massive fun, playful, carefree and connected part of me!
I think I have always carried the program with me....worrying about what others think. So, that could be a part of it. I remember as a kid, my mom ALWAYS wondering "what would the neighbors think?"; "what would your friends think?" I am not sure I remember my mom being too playful with my brother and I. It was always about "getting things done". Clean your room, do the laundry, clean the house....get things done. After all, everything had to look good. My dad on the other hand...he was the playful one. He like to play practical jokes, was always horsing around and attempting to lighten things up a little. So, I know it is in me somewhere.
I see me know with my kids and I am always very "tasky" with them. Although, teaching them to respect their home and their belongings by helping pick up and put things away is not too crazy...at least don't think. And, raising them alone, I know has put an extra burden on them. I am all about them having fun, playing outside, running around with their friends, and playing with their toys using their imagination!! And, I do see my other programs around "getting things done" over ruling sometimes.
As I think about our life over the past several years, I cannot help to think about how much different I might BE if their dad, my husband was still alive.
August 19th, 2005 Chris passed away from stage 4 lung cancer. Yes...he smoked (I hate when people ask me that! And...it is always the first question). He was only 38 years old. His life ended much to soon. And at 31 I was a widow, facing raising a 3 1/2 yr. old daughter and a 16 month old son.
WOW! Talk about life altering!
I really, don't remember much of the 1st year after he passed away. I do remember making sure that the kids had a sense of normalcy, that their routines did not change much. I bought them a fantastic play scape for the backyard and we went to Florida with my neighbor and her little baby Ryan (who is now 5!). I remember that I attempted to explain to a 3 year old about heaven, and why she would not physically see her dad again. Her heartache was debilitating to me! My sweet baby boy, had no idea what was going on (which I guess could be seen a some sort of blessing). I remember hating to go to bed. I remember that I avoided one section of our couch for about 6 months, because that is where Chris slept when he was too weak to go upstairs.
I remember that before Chris got sick, my favorite thing to do was to sit and PLAY with my kids. I loved watching them giggle, and learn and experience life. I loved watching Lauren run around with this massive head of long, curly hair....her chubby cheeks used to jiggle when she ran. She LOVED all things princessy and dresses that "twirled". Christopher (Little Man), was such a sweet baby, and as long as he was held and snuggled, he was happy.
I think after we lost Chris, I felt I lost the ability to just sit and play. It was now up me to make sure EVERYTHING GOT DONE. I had to pay the bills (ugh! That was his thing...he loved it, as any controller/analyst would!) Yard work....really!? (I have come to accept it and even consider it therapeutic at times). BE the soul provider for our family. Do the grocery shopping. Do the laundry. Go to work. Be the good cop and bad cop....which sucks! Be Mom and Dad. I remember thinking, this is not what I signed up for. I signed up for the great, handsome husband...the beautiful house, the healthy, beautiful children and a long, healthy, happy life together! What the hell happened?!
Lauren is now 9 1/2 and Little Man is 7. Lauren is a gorgeous, super-sensitive, uber-intelligent, funny, spunky, (bossy), loving young girl. I want to puke thinking about her turning 10! I am not ready for the double digits....and all that it will be encompassing! Little Man is an adorable, handsome, head strong, ACTIVE, funny, loving, ACTIVE, and did I mention head strong little boy! He is definitely going to be involved in some sort of extreme sport and rock band when he is older. He has no fear....which I admire and worry about all at the same time.
I am recognizing that I want to be PLAYFUL, CAREFREE, and CONNECTED with my kids again. I am all they have as a parent right now and I see how important it will be for them to know that this parent made a choice to reconnect. I want them to come to me with anything, free of judgement (which has sometimes been a struggle for me), free of negative experience. I want our relationship to be solid, connected, open, trusting and filled with mutual respect.
I know now that my Journey, as rough as it may have been, has brought me to exactly where I am supposed to be. All of the work I have done with K&A, has already helped me become a better mom....by giving me the tools to increase my awareness in how I have been showing up in my relationship with my kids. As I start this next journey, I am excited to embark upon this 7-week goal:
On or before August 24th, 2011, 11pm AZ time, I have shared 40 or more activities with Lauren and Christopher!
The jar is filled with ideas! I am looking forward to turning off the Blackberry, turning on the "Out Of Office" reply, and turning on the massive fun, playful, carefree and connected part of me!
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